Time to Talk: Tinder

#word !!

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Couldn’t have said it better myself

I saw this post and it got me thinking

What am i doing on Tinder? How did i even start to get here. And i thought back to 3 weeks ago. It was 1 week before Bali and my now ex and I FINALLY clean cut the entire thing. Or more that I had had enough of him controlling my life. One thing about having billionaire boyfriends is that it allows them to dictate the way their little girl lives her life. And I was that little girl. I couldn’t do what I wanted to do, I couldn’t be what I wanted to be and i couldn’t live like how i wanted to live. I couldn’t do anything. But i had to be 1) Pretty 2) Submissive 3) Talented and 4)Horny at all times.

That keeps him happy. – But it didn’t keep me. Eventually through the whole process I had lost myself. By May – I had enough. Everytime that I tried to find my footing he’d knock me down again. And so I left. I hadn’t had sex for 8 months by then. And figured – I’d check out all the social apps that was available. Tinder – was by far the best. And so the games began.

The experiences are amazing. – Dicks came in all forms and sizes. The orgasms, – who would have thought you could orgasm from anal? – And though i used to be in BDSM, I really don’t like men handling me roughly without trust.

In all honesty, I think everybody should lose their selves at least once in their lives. You come out a much stronger person. Knowing exactly who you are and what you love about life. – For me, it’s my freedom. That’s where I draw my power. Tinder in a way confirms it. Life’s so good right now.

Tinderella, Kick it Up One Time

Couldn't have said it better myself

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Americans. The Airforce came to town.

There’s an International Air Carnival happening in Kuala Lumpur. Publicity didn’t tell me this, the men who have flown in from Japan are the ones who told me about it. Tinder told me. Most of them are American. They’ve flown in from their base in Japan

Americans. The Airforce came to town. 

What can you say about the stereotypes of American Army Men but they really are just tools. There is absolutely nothing more beyond that. The American air force from Japan have been sent here to “practice with our fliers?” . I saw video of them in training the Malaysians to parachute out of the plane. Awesome stuff! I’ve got to try that out one day. On video it looks like so much fun. To wear a parachute and slowly be let out flying with no restrictions or persons but air around you. That would truly be you and nature.

Rodd Tinder was suppose to be a one night stand. We were suppose to meetup, fuck, go home. But the thing about being in the American Army Air Force is that these types of men came with luggage. An entire team of luggage. The minute a girl steps into the lobby of the 5 star establishment, All in jumpsuits would stare at you. They stare at you with thoughts running through their minds. You can read on their faces, to ask or not to ask. Is she a hooker? Why is she here alone. Should I make a move. The stares are uncomfortable. But it went on. – Groups of men pouring in from after the base work. It goes on like that. The 5 Star establishment that i was so used to living and being around in, had turned into a Man nest. – And the bait (moi) was standing in the centre of it.

I’ve stayed at the One World Hotel many times before Kuala Lumpur was home. I love the smell of the hotel, the elegant marble. But being there yesterday amongst the American Air Force – They had turned it into a Boy’s Dormitory. And every one of them men, larger than me by 3 times fold. I waited 20 minutes around the elevators, before Rodd finally came down. As the doors open, he looks dishevelled and tired in his khakis green jumpsuit. The Army dormitory continues. I got into the lift and say hello. Nothing physical etc. “Owh!. I think we’re going to have someone to press the number on the elevator for us”, says Rodd. Hahahaha. “You left your keycard upstairs and came down? Ok. No worries about that”. However i was worried. I was worried by all these judging eyes and the way these men carried themselves. For the first time in my life, I understood about what it meant to objectify women. It is – so strange.

We followed the lift all the way up to the 18th floor where it opened to 2 mates who entered.

“Hey” said Rodd. “I left my keycard back in the room. Could you hit the 17th”.

“Sure man. Did you just come off?”

(The conversation was really long for a 1 floor down ride)

“Sounds good man. Have a fun night”

Lets just say I was completely ignored. Well yeah, I guess I can be irrelevant. Wait, what did I just say?  10 minutes of Rodd being late to the lobby, intimidated by huge American men standing around in the lobby and another 10 minutes of waiting around the lift and I can already tell myself that it’s ok to be irrelevant. – WOW – This is a very interesting culture.

It was like a Hollywood movie as i progressed to walk towards Rodd’s hotel room. That this was like a base itself and I was in the midst of it all. “I have to go get a shower. I’m disgusting right now. I’m filled with sweat and God, it’s so hot out there. They didn’t make these jumpsuits suited for hot weathers like these” . We spent 20 minutes talking about the weather and his jumpsuits. “Hang on though, my roommates in the shower. We’ve been mates for a long time”.

For a brief moment i was thinking. – please don’t say this is one of those times where someone’s trying to trick me into a threesome.

Rodd’s from New York. When he was 18 he enrolled in the army cause he had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. He eventually fell in love with Golf and will retire from the army into it. What exactly, is still unsure. Maybe teaching?

Byron comes out of the shower, i shut my eyes till it was safe to open them. Black, tall, and had the accent of movies. He was combing his bald headed dreads with a brush.

I sat across the room from him, by that time, I was feeling very uncomfortable already. Where I was previously excited for a bound of fun, i am now a ball of nerves. Unable to relax and extremely scared with all defences up. Needless to say that I had my critical mode on and found fascination in every single movement and being that was going on around me.

Tyron had just come out of the shower in his blue underwear. He was fascinating as a black man. He talks so much. And was putting cream into his bald head that I had to ask. “What’s the cream for? You have no hair.”

“It’s for my weaves, it gives it shape. Yeah, when I’m done with them, it’s gonna look Neat! So neat!.” said Tyron. He had some stubble on his hair. But i really don’t understand. I had so many questions for him, Are you a metrosexual? Why do you have a gut if you are? “I’m not a metro, dude, it’s a Black People thing”, Tyron retorted.  He continues to press on the tresses and puts it in a cloth to keep the hair/non hair in place for a while. So that when he takes it out – it’ll be all sexy like that.

“Interesting!”

“Where I come from it’s really hard, we’ve gotta look after ourselves. It’s what we do. Ya know, you’re really rude”

“I am? I’m sorry for hurting your feelings, I’m just really curious”.

Eventually I let him be and he left. He didn’t think I was rude, he was just giving me a really hard time about asking so many questions cause i didn’t know him. American Culture? I do not know. But I’m finding the strangeness even more interesting by the passing in seconds.

Then Byron left. It was just Rodd and I now. And I feel extremely insecure and awkward. Which has never ever happened before. “Why are we sitting so far from each other?” . Then the doorbell rang. Rodd went to open the door and his friend burst into the room. Again, he ignored that there was this female person in the room and completely gets on as if I’m a sex thing again. o.O I’m starting to see a pattern here. Rodd sensed it and showed his friend out where he continued to chat at the door. His friend then gave him a wink like he’s gonna get lucky by the door. It closed and it began.

I sat on the bed. we bickered over Lasagna and Penne. Then we spent 20 minutes bickering on his jumpsuit which i find really gross cause in the states he only washes it every 2 days. lol. weather conditions. Right. How we got to talking about that, – I can’t remember. He was suddenly so shocked that I’m 10 years younger than him. Then we watched Monsters University on TV. ate salad and played with food. He was trying to be cute. awwwww. Lasagna arrived, bickered over the knife, fork and spoon thing. – Then he started a pillow fight. Well i whacked him with a pillow cause he said something. And also cause the whiskey was getting to my head. He started to wrestle me. I have no idea how to wrestle, but that really hurts!!! LOL. Then he pinned me down and tried to seduce me.

I couldn’t. – This was so not my thing. And even if it wasn’t my thing, and i would gladly give it a go, I was in pain. There’s nothing sexually enticing about everything. Eventually I apologised and we settled to watching the movie till the end.

The entire night was a disaster where I felt exactly like a hooker and not a person by even just being there. I went home soon with the conclusion : American Army Men : #notmything